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It is easy for marriage ministry to develop a familiar storyline. The wife is interested. The husband is reluctant. The ministry's job becomes figuring out how to get him there.
That framing can become a problem of its own.
Husbands are not a single audience with one motivation, personality, or preferred format. Some enjoy structured learning. Some respond to conversation with other men. Some are drawn to practical topics. Some want couple experiences. Some are highly engaged in parish life already. Others are not.
The better question is whether the ministry is intentionally considering husbands at all.
Do the topics speak to their real experience of being husbands? Are men visible in the ministry? Are there opportunities for genuine male friendship? Is the invitation framed around growth, vocation, responsibility, faith, and relationship rather than implying that the couple must have a problem?
A husband who chooses to participate is different from a husband who feels dragged into something designed for someone else.
Marriage Every Day aims to give husbands and wives both shared and distinct ways to engage, while keeping the marriage itself at the center.
What a ministry can do with this
- Ask several husbands what makes a marriage-related invitation feel worthwhile or unappealing to them.
- Review your current marriage programming for whether men are visibly addressed as husbands.
- Create opportunities for husbands to connect with other husbands without treating male participation as a gimmick.
Take this to your team
Where we are now
What assumptions do we currently make about why husbands participate or do not participate?
Where we could go
What would change if we designed part of our marriage formation with husbands intentionally in mind from the beginning?
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Related cards
- Card 14When husbands and wives engage differently, how does your ministry make room for both?Read this card
- Card 15What would it look like to form husbands and wives both as spouses and as individuals within the marriage?Read this card
- Card 18What actually gets married couples to say yes and show up?Read this card